Trying to find work

Since the summer of 1998 until last March, I have not had a regular job for probably all of five months. I lived with a single parent so if I wanted to have any sort of fun or wanted to buy something, I had to earn the money myself. I’ve done a various number of jobs but I’ve always had work. The only two times when I wasn’t working were two months when I went to visit family in Europe back in 2006 and the first two months when I moved to Vancouver in 2007. From the end of March until Now (so going on three months), I have been trying to find work with absolutely zero success. In fact, in all that time, I’ve had one phone interview. The only other closet thing I had in regards to a position was having a company e-mailing me to ask me where I was located (they never responded afterwards). I have been looking regularly for work in my field with almost zero responses. What makes it worse is that a lot of the companies and positions I have applied for update their job sites to give you an idea on the status of your application. So, seeing me being rejected for a position I felt that I was qualified for without even a simple phone interview is extremely frustrating. I really want to work but the field I am looking at appears to not want me and I’m not sure why. I’ve been working in the video game industry for four years; I have four years of customer service experience but I just can’t seem to find another job. I am knowledgeable about video games and sports but my opportunities are slowly dwindling. But what is really funn is that I am able to apply to 5-10 different jobs a week that I feel I could do but according to those companies, I am not what they are looking for. And now it’s beginning to damage me emotionally and physically. Since losing my job, I’ve had to relocate twice. I am in a city I absolutely hate and in a living situation I can’t stand. I have problems sleeping and I have begun to gain weight at a steady rate that I just can’t seem to stop. I am used to challenges but this is by far the biggest one I’ve had to deal with and I am clearly losing it. I can’t even turn to family because being around them is actually more detrimental to my health and well-being. My family were part of the reason why I relocated but they have been of no help, and that includes being supportive. I just want to work and being unable to find a job is making me both sad and angry. I don’t know what more to do since everything that I have tried in the last three months has amounted to nothing. I’m running out of ideas on what to do. I thought by moving the change in scenery would help, but that hasn't been the case. I’ve tried to cater my resume and cover letter for each job so that I’m not simply mass-applying, but that too hasn’t helped. I never thought trying to find a job after being laid off from another would be this hard. Clearly, I am suffering from some sort of state of depression. I am finding it hard to go on and I'm not sure what more I can do. I just want to be working and doing what I am capable of doing. I need to get out of here before I end up hurting myself even more so. I wish I knew what I needed to do because I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Now I am getting frustrated

So I finally got an update on the status of my Social Security Number and to my shock, nothing has been processed. It seems as though my I-94 -which I had to get when I entered the country- is technically still pending. Since I didn't have my Passport with me, at this moment there is nothing I can. What this means is that on Friday, I have to show up early to the horrible SSN Office in downtown San Francisco, wait about an hour and either re-apply for a number or for them to try to figure out what is wrong.

This is extremely frustrating since I have an open case file with them but they never bothered to contact me about this; I had to call them instead. Mind you, I probably should have called sooner, but since they said it would take 4 weeks, and it has only been 2.5, I wasn't too worried. But, now that I know that my status here is still "pending" I have to figure out what to do.

Adding insult to injury, I have not been paid at work, so I am technically working for free. I have been working since July 5th but have not been paid a penny. On top of that, I have no money and need to pay for August's rent this weekend. I am about to explode.

I really don't know what to do. I can't go home, grab my Passport and return since that trip alone will take an hour and the offices close at 4pm. Also, why the heck are the security staff at the Social Security Offices such assholes? They are rude, slow, lazy and just unhelpful. I have never had a worse experience in my life dealing with federal people in my life. Now, I completely understand why Adam Carolla shits on them all the time. Just because you're unhappy with your life decisions doesn't mean you need to make me feel the same.

I just want to start working, pay taxes and be able to function normally in US society. This month has been getting more and more frustrating; I just want it to end so I can be happy.

Getting used to living in America

So, I have been a resident of the United States of America for just over three weeks and I'm still not used to everything. I am still patiently waiting for my Social Security Card/Number to arrive so I can be an official member of the US working-class. Yes, I have been working at my job at GameSpot.com as the Sports Previews Editor but I haven't been paid yet (which really sucks!) , owe my "landlord" rent and am living off of my Canadian Credit Card.

I am hoping that the last remaining issues that still exist are taken care of by the end of this week. My out of country cheques that I deposited into my US account will clear by the beginning of next week; I was told that Social Security takes anywhere from 3-4 weeks. Since I officially registered that on the 10th of July, I should here something sometime next week.

But although America and Canada are quite a like, there are still a lot of differences I am still getting used to. I am currently living in Oakland, CA. It wasn't my first choice but it was the only place I could secure prior to leaving Vancouver. I really had my heart set on a place in San Francisco but trying to get a place from Canada and without actually seeing the place, made that next to impossible.

I don't hate where I live, far from it. The townhouse I reside in is stunning. It's a four-bedroom place that I share with a roommate who is also the owner and works with me, although not in the same department. I have a large room with plenty of space and the rest of the house is extremely spacious. I don't socialize with my roommate too much since we work very different hours. I am up at 7am and at work by 8:30 while he doesn't arrive until much later. Meaning we also finish at different times.

This is where I begin to not enjoy where I live. It is extremely far from everything. In the mornings, I can get to work in about 30 minutes because there is an express bus that picks me up near my place and drops me off about a 10 minute walk from the office. That's not bad, but it's the evenings where I have problems.

Since moving to the States, I've gained a bit of weight. Not too much, about 5-7 pounds, but enough that it bothers me. For the first week or so living here, I did no physical activities and that "laziness" caused the sudden weight gain. So, I decided to get a gym membership. Although I was a loyal member of the YMCA for the four+ years I lived in Vancouver, the price of a gym membership at 24 hour Fitness was too good to pass up. I signed up to one by my work but it allows me to use any one of their many locations.

Thus began my journey in to which gym to use. The one nearly across the street from my work building is always packed around 6pm when I go which makes it extremely difficult to get onto a cardio machine. It has a great machine area but the cardio section is extremely small. I tried to show up early in the mornings when it was less busy but I am not a morning workout person and I didn't like having my smelly, sweaty gym clothing with me at my desk throughout the day.

So I decided to go to one in Oakland. It's not exactly close to where I live but it's size makes it extremely easy to do the workout I want. But there lies a new problem. I've discovered the unsanitary lifestyles of the people of Oakland.

I don't know if it's just a certain group of people or everyone in general, but I just don't get the logic/though process of these folks. The Oakland 24 hour fitness has a swimming area with steam and sauna rooms. I loved to spend 10-15 minutes after a hard workout in these rooms, so this was another reason why I wanted to go here. But every single time I've been there during the week, both rooms have people in there fully dressed. I am not talking about those people who are uncomfortable with the way their stomach look that they wear a T-Shirt, I literally mean people in there with shoes, socks, pants or shorts and a shirt. These are people who workout or play some basketball and immediately after finishing there, enter the room. It's freaking disgusting.

Since there are no lifeguards, there is no monitoring the area and it's unbearable. Then, the change room is always messy and people don't clean up after themselves. The floors don't have drains but I see people squeezing water/sweat out of their clothing and onto the floor.

After this, I decided I will no longer frequent this location during the week. I will still probably attend on weekends since I won't be in San Fran but if it gets worse, I don't know what I'll do. While the two gyms I have tried in the SF area don't have steam/sauna facilities, they are significantly cleaner.

The problem with Oakland is that nothing is close where I live. I am in East Oakland and I really don't want to drive but because of my location, I have no choice for most things. I went to the movies for the first time on Sunday and decided to take the bus. The trip was only about 45 minutes each way but the theatre was an older one and I can't seem to find any of the more modern ones nearby. I have nothing against the cinema but when it comes to choice, it only features a few films and not a wide collection.

The other issue is that I haven't had the opportunity to make any friends here. But I am to blame for that. There was a great chance during my first week to socialize with some people from work but instead of doing that, I went to Sacramento to see a friend from Vancouver who came to visit. I really don't know why I went since it was someone I'm not particular close with but I did want to see more of California. Since then, there hasn't been an opportunity to hang-out with people from work and to make friends, or at least acquaintances. I am hoping that changes but again, I think because of my location, it won't be easy. I need to join a sports team or do something outside of work that will help me integrate with more people. I am seriously tempted to take a class, possibly a language one or automotive repair and maybe meet people that way. I'm not looking for love, just people with similar interests. I had such a great circle of friends both in Ottawa and Vancouver and I'd love to have the same thing here.

I could keep complaining about my situation but I do have to remember that it is only temporary. I have every intention on moving to San Francisco in January and then getting around will be so much easier and my life will be so much better I hope. I felt like ranting and this is what came of it.

Vegan Pie Crust

• 3 Cups Pastry Flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup margarine
• 6 tablespoons cold water - give or take

In Bowl - combine Flour and Salt
Slowly add margarine as you mix
Add cold water gradually (spoon in water, then mix)
Shape dough into ball and toss in fridge for a bit until it gets cold (should be about 10-15 minutes, or as long as it takes to prepare your pie mix)

Once cold, place on floured surface and with rolling pin, spread enough.
Place on pie sheet, cut excess.

Note: This makes more than enough for two pie crusts worth of dough...save other piece for later use.

This dough can be used for any pie...the excess dough could be used for pie shell (if baking that kind of pie)

What am I doing wrong?

For about the last four to six months I have been passively looking for a better job and have yet to find any success. My career aspiration is fairly broad with me trying to find anything that I am remotely qualified (4 year Customer Service, 4 years Event Volunteering, 3 years Video Games writing/cover) but I have not only not had any success finding a better or more interesting job, I haven't even been contact for an interview or even a talk over the phone.

I am constantly wondering what am I doing wrong. Is my resume format incorrect? Am I not vocal enough with my hunting? Are companies really that bias when hiring that they only look for one specific word and I'm missing that? There are so many questions I have and it's really getting frustrating.

I currently work, but I can't see myself working at the same place for very much longer. I have given them the last four years of my life and the return on that investment hasn't amounted to much. I get passed on every promotion even though I have a great work ethic: always looked upon to help others.

Since I have such a great work ethic, able to finish tasks quickly and efficiently, has that actually put in a disadvantage. Since I can handle a greater workload that others, it just means that they can keep me in the same role and not worry about others because I'll cover for them. But it's frustrating and I hate it.

I was always told, if you don't like what you're doing, then don't do it. That might work in certain facets of life, but not work. You can't just quit a job if you're not in a position where you can say 'fuck it' and take some time off. I live alone and in an expensive city; if I quit, I might as well just move back to Ottawa and my mother's basement, which I honestly do not want.

If only I knew what people were looking for, then I would do just that. I am so qualified, but there is just something about me that is not appealing enough when they skim through my resume/cv. Even with experience, finding a better job is no easy feat.

Trying to Figure it all out

It seems every time I write a personal blog post on here something bad occurs. Earlier this year when I was writing about a girl I was really into it turned out poorly. Then when I thought things were getting better with her, I wrote about it and shortly there after, she started a serious relationship with someone else. Maybe if I talk about something bad here, I'll have the reverse effect.

I absolutely hate my job. For the last 3+ years I have been at the same company, in fact, it is the only real paying job I've had since I moved to Vancouver. At first I thought this would be a fantastic career opportunity. I was starting a job at an improving apparel firm and I was confident expansion and growth within the company were my ticket to bigger and better things. I started working as the Office Floater assisting where-ever necessary. That meant some days I was working in HR, other days I was helping out the Sales department. Heck, I was even covering receptionist when she was away. It was the best job a new person could ask for; you get to interact with various departments and you learn about every aspect of a clothing company.

A few months later I was offered a permanent position in the Customer Service department. At first I didn't want it since I am not a Sales Person in that vein. I didn't want to have to call people up and demand they buy our stuff. Luckily, this wasn't the case. Instead, people would call me and I would simply place their order and/or check on the status of their orders. I viewed it as the potential of moving up in the company and took it. The first few months were nice, I was in charge of the most important region of the United States (The eastern Seaboard) and I got the opportunity to travel to Virginia Beach where I ran my first half-marathon.

But of course, I wanted more. After about six months in this role, a position that on-paper sounded interesting opened up in our Operations Department and I jumped at the chance to take it. It was our Production Planner position. I took it for a number of different reasons, it sounded like a cool position, according to the web, it was a higher paying position and I wanted to grow. Unfortunately, no one told me that it would be a position of waiting. Since so many of our off-shore vendors were Asian, with the 16 hour time difference, we never interacted in real-time. In the morning I would reply to all the messages I got from the evening then the rest of the day was done doing nothing. It was so boring since I was so used to working in real-time with people. If I sent an e-mail, I expected a response within hours not days.

HR could tell that I was not happy in my new role and offered me my old position back. It seemed that CS didn't find someone to take my old position and wanted me back. I took it and I've been stuck there ever since.

I was always promised the potential of moving forward. They could see that I got bored easily; I tend to do things quicker than most which leaves me with a lot of free time. Since they saw me spending more time doing things other than work, they tried to give me more responsibilities. Thus began what I thought would be my integration into Marketing.

I had quickly became the Marketing department's administrator. Whenever they needed something done, they came to me. On top assisting them when needed, I was also their main point of contact with anything PR related. Our outside PR agency would send their requests directly to me and they never needed to deal with anyone else in Marketing. It worked well; we got our products to magazines on time and I did my best to ensure the company's name was held in a positive light in the media. I had the opportunity to deal with O Magazine, The New York Times and even Wired just to name a few.

It looked like I would be permanently moved into Marketing, as an informal offer was made but then our company, which was recently purchased by a large Corporation, decided to do a wage/employee freeze and I was stuck in CS.

What hurt the most was that my salary was still very low in comparison to most employed people in Vancouver. I should have moved on to a better job but I honestly thought I had the chance to move up and everything would turn out in my favor. A year later and nothing changed. It continued to go against me when the Marketing Manager who made so many promises to me decided to leave the company. At that time, I didn't understand her leaving but now I do (I'll address that later on).

After she left, so did others in that department. I should have taken that as a sign but I didn't. The two people that left, who I both worked a lot with, were in positions that I thought I was qualified for (Events Coordinator and Public Relations Liaison). I applied for both position and of course, I didn't get them. What was worse was that the new Marketing Manager invited me into her office and told me that the new corporate outlook was to hire outside rather than to grow from within. I had so much experience but they wanted to bring in fresh people; essentially people that they could mold rather than someone who already was established. Funny thing is that both position still require me to assist them which really angers me.

I honestly don't see myself working at my current job for very much longer. While I haven't given my notice, I am passively looking for new work. The problem with that is finding a job is 1) a full-time job in itself and 2) my CS background limits me to where I can work.

For the last two years I have been a staff writer over at a small Video Game site based in Quebec. It's essentially a "work-for-free" position but I've enjoyed it thoroughly. At first I was doing it just because I enjoyed writing and I liked the idea of getting free games in the mail to review. But what initially started as a hobby is now something I want to be more active in. I want to be a more vocal person but because of my 9-to-5 job, I could only do so much. I couldn't quit my regular job since the writing was being done for free. What I was really hoping is that my writing gig there would push me to somewhere better, either with a large publication (eg. A National Paper/Site) or working for one of the many gaming companies in Vancouver (eg. Electronic Arts).

The problem there is that regardless of my hopes of writing for a larger site or working for a gaming company is that it is highly competitive. I have applied for so many different positions with various companies and never once heard back from anyone. I am more than qualified but it feels that either my requests are being automatically rejected or that is always someone better. I wish I knew people at these companies that could give me the edge I need as so many companies used automated services for their job positions. If I had a direct contact person, I could e-mail them asking if they got my resume rather than just assuming someone got it.

I have every intention on leaving my current regular job but not before finding something better. I still hold out hope that I'll get a job in the field that I want since I know I would make it work. I will do what I can and hopefully with how much crap I've gone through this year, something good will come from it.

You & Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Since catching the first trailers a few months back, I was comfortably on the Scott Pilgrim bandwagon. I hadn't read the Graphic Novel series but it contained a cool premise and interesting cast of characters that I was convinced it would be a great, if not at least a good, film. Upon talking with friends about the film, the clear consensus of my predominantly male circle was that none of them wanted to see the film, nor were they interested in the plot. To their defense, the trailers do not do that great of a job of appealing to the masses. Yes, you can tell the film is 'a boy likes girl' story but in my opinion, they don't do a great job on relaying the success of the Graphic Novel.

While none of my male friends showed any interest, I did manage to convince a few of my female friends to see the film and on Monday night, we managed to catch a screening. To my surprise, the theatre was filled on a Monday evening. The weather in Vancouver was fantastic, so my initial thoughts were that most people would spend the cool evening outside rather than indoors; this was a definite positive in my eyes for the film.

Another thing that I noticed in the cinema was the clear collective of "geeky" and "hipster" people in attendance. These are your skinny jeans, preppy dressed people who know their games but also feel like they are the authoritative person to talk to about anything "worth knowing". These people are clearly not the kind of people I current socialize with.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is a fantastic film. It is well-paced, does a fantastic job with its source material and has a lot of laughs and references anyone who grew up in the late 80s, 90s and early 00s would catch. So why did it only garner 10 million on its opening weekend. Yes, it was against The Expendables, a paint-by-numbers Guy's film, and Eat Pray Love, a paint-by-numbers Gal's film, and both are able to bring in viewers because of that. But Scott Pilrim should have the vocal Geek squad that are the reason why Twitter and Facebook are so popular.

For Scott Pilgrim to succeed in the coming weeks, it absolutely needs Geeks and Hipsters to talk about the film to all their friends. Have these two cliques grown up to still be isolated people that only hang out with the same group of people? You get nowhere if a Geek tells his/her other Geek friend how fantastic Scott Pilgrim is since both are already aware of this. What needs to happen is that the Geek needs to tell his Jock Buddy how funny Scott Pilgrim is, how they reference Tony Hawk and Seinfeld; Geek needs to tell his Drama Queen friend that Scott Pilgrim has a lot of romance in it and that she should take her Boyfriend, the 9-to-5er to see it.

If people spread the word of the film, that is how Scott Pilgrim will succeed at the Box-Office. Kick-Ass required a lot of word-of-mouth to push itself to making money. Not a single one of my friends knew its source material but when I sat them down with the comic series, they were interested.

At this rate, it feels that Scott Pilgrim is destined to bomb at the Box-Office but to make its money in DVD/Blu-Ray sales. Considering the quick turnaround for films (roughly 3-4 months from Cinema to DVD), I would expect us to see Pilgrim on DVD in October/November.

Again, Scott Pilgrim was fantastic and it really needs your help. Tell your friends, take your friends; do what you can because there are often films that can't be missed and this is one of those.